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第54章用自己的方式变得完美BeiheWayYouAre
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佚名Anonymous
Attheageof13，mylifehadappearedtohavefallenapart.Theretdeathofmygrahesadnessanddepressionofmymother，andthesurprisereunionofmybirthmotherseoapletesenseofloss，andsadness.
Igrewupinafamilyofmajortrol.BothparentswereEuropeanand“tooproud”
toseekhelpwhenthefamilyalmostfellapartseveraltimes.IfelttheonlythingthatItrolwaswhatIateandmostimportantly—did.InonedayIwouldeabagofpopdthecarrymefortherestoftheweek!
IhadpeopleentoIlooked.“Youaresolucky—youlooksothilydidn'teveIwasdoingandthecesithadandwouldhaveonmymaturingbody.
&uallyhadbladonedayIlahecurbsidewhileonawalkwithmyparents.Mymotheryelledatmeandasked，“Areynant?”
IyelledbaIfioandreplied，“Ofot!Ineedaboyfriendforthattypeofeventtooeedlesstosay，mymotherdidn'tthinkmyentwasfunnyatall!
Iblaahatinthehallwayatseandotherplaces.Ilaterstartedtraines，whichwouldlastformahelackoffoodwoulderamigraihwouldonlybeuchworse.
&goodwhenIdidandfoundthatwheneverIwasuress，Iwould.Ispentmanytimesgrowingupinmyhomealone.IknowIhavehugeissuesofaba，lossandylife.Thesearethecoreissuestomyanorexia.Idon'tthinkofthiswordatallasdesgmy“imeiwasiolate80'swhenIfirstmetmyboyfriend's.arents'home.Sheizzaslice.Whilewatghereat，Istartedthroughherintheizza.Itfeltreallystrachherhidemostofwhatshehernapkinforosee.Thatwasme!Iidehherpletely!Iwasrelievedtoseethattherewassomeoherelikeme.IdidicehowterriblythiilIsahotoofheraboutayearlater.Sheitalizedandwasinserious!Shelivedoutoftown，soweonlysawheronawhile.
Ithitreallyhometome.IkifIkeptonmyuedpaththiswouldbeatme.Thisreallyshodscarredme，anditwastheturningpointinmylifeforme.IfeltasifshewasanangelfhtthereinfroowarmighthappentomeifIued.Iwasreallylucky.
&adoctor'svisit，myphysiedmethatmypoorhealthhadmuylackofbodyfatahinness.Iknowshewasright.Uettingmarried，Iendeduplosinganother10poundsbeforemywedding.
Rightafterthewedding，Iwasdiaghverylatestagesofcervicaldysphasia.Ithadtobetreatedwithsurgery.Thispromptedmetyotherhealthissues.IlookedtotheentarycarefieldaogobacktoschreeasaRegisteredNutritionalgPraerandbegangothersirition.Ihavelearyoufeedyourcellswillhelpfeedthemindandbody.Ibegandoingmanyhealingmodalities.Simultaneously，Ireallyfowhmyissues.IknowIhaveeaverylongwayinmyjourneyofhealing.
Ihavebeenmigraiover7yearsnow.Itakeyself!Itisw.
NowIhavean8-year-oldandalmosta17-monthold.IknowwhatIdowillgreatlyaffectmy.WhatIteachthembutmostimportantlywhatIdowillaffecttheirbodyimages，self-dtheirloveforthemselves.Iwasgreatlyaffectedbymyrolemodels.
Istillstruggleaoremi.WheressedIwillsometimesfet.IhavetoldmyclosetfriendswhatIhaveghaoeatandtakeyselfwheheyseemeslip.Theyarethegreatest!Butmykidsarethegreatestandtheyarealwaystheretoremindmeeveryday.Ialwaysmakeasciouseffecttoeatallmealstogetherwheneverpossible.IthinkthisisreallyveryimportaoseetheirMomeatwell.
It'salifeproically，Iprobablyhave5～10poundstoloseafterthebirthofmysedchild.Ijustdon'tsweatitnow.Ineverweighmyselfanymore，andIknowthatitisimportant.IjustgobyhowIfeelandlookinmyclothesorla!Iusedtothi—Imustlosethatweight;those5pouogo.NowIthimatter.
IAMperfectthe>
13岁那年，我的生活仿佛就快要崩溃了。
外婆刚刚去世、母亲悲伤沮丧、我与生身母亲的离奇团聚，所有的这一切让我感到悲哀困惑，不知道该何去何从。
我在一个家教非常严谨的家庭中长大。
父母都是欧洲人，他们曾若干次努力将濒临破裂的家庭挽救了回来，这是他们最骄傲的。
我觉得，只有我吃什么是自己可以做主的事情，而最重要的是不吃什么。
我可以在一天内吃掉一包爆米花，而后撑过这周余下的日子。
我听到有人说我长得好看。
“你看上去真苗条！
你真幸运！”
而我甚至没有意识到，曾经做了些什么，对我正在发育的身体造成或将会造成怎样的影响。
我的身体终于支撑不住了。
有一天，我和父母一起散步时，我晕倒在路边。
母亲大呼小叫地问道：“你怀孕了吗？”
我醒过来后，便大声回答她说：“当然没有，除非我有了男朋友，不然那事不会发生。”
显然，对于我的回答，母亲觉得一点都不可笑。
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