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你还记得么YellowPost-ItsByIshitaVora
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佚名Anonymous
youstillfindthisday，mydear，amongyourpossessions?
Amongthesouvenirsofyourtripstofarawaylabooksfromthosehaldayswhenyouwalkedthehallowedportalsofthatengineerihecassetteswhosecoverswereleftbehindafterohosebasessiohephotographsofthoseclassmateswhosenamesyoutremember?Orisithiddeninthedarkoutofsightalongwiththebookyouboughtbuthegiftyouefoundauseforaersyouneverfi.Istillfihethehouse，whichyouhaveed，iwhereIhaveimagiionswithyou.ItishereevenwhenIamnoouthelightonandthemusig，soIhometotheillusionofpany.
Iamprobablybetteroffnow.Withoutsecretstokeepfrommyparents.Withoutsomeoweenmeandmyfriends，meandmypastimes，meandmywork，meandmyseaariahatIkeeptrying，keepfailingtiheexpesthatIkeeptrying，keepfailingtomakemyown.ItisnotthatIalwaysfeellikethis，sometimesIyearnforthosedayswhentearsahcameeasy.Thoseeasyandquisitioodespair.limentcouldkeepmymindoccupiedforhoursonendandaharshwordcouldpricklikeapinthesameskinwhisdryaive.Likeprobablymillionsaroundtheworld，Ilookoutsidethewindowofacrowdedbus，lostinmyownthoughtsacouldhappentome.
WasInotsupposedtobedifferentfromtherest?Notforthesillyschoolgirlinfatuatioballteamorthefaswiththeg，pot-smokingaspiri.Ourswasamaturefriendshipthathadblossomedintomore.HowcouldIfeelapahen，wheahelpinghandtirl，whenyouspokeaboutsomeonewhosfarawayandabouttobemarried，whenyouweresoihebothatyoudidweallday?Whehatithadbeentoolongandthatweshouldmeet，Icarefullystartedpreparingapackageforyou.Asmallpoem，thatbookyoualwayswaneverfound，anoldphotographandabarofchocolateforustoshare.earandetalkabout?Thepackagestillremainsiiain.
ItwasarainySundayafterinmytinyhostelroom，disgcapitalismandcampusgossipwithequalfevor.WhehoseversationscouldlastforeverandwewouldheWhenJoniMitg“ia”
seveinuousplaybeforewethoughtofgettingout.
Thenonedaysuddenlywewerelookiher.Youhereelse，doihirangelyenoughsowasI.ThoseonthattripandthatjuniuywholovedthesamemoviesIdo.Thatgirldoorwhotookmathlessonsfromyou.Myroomwasalmostalwayslodyourswas.Weseemedtohavediscoveredawholeworldoutsideofourselvesallofasudderagedywaswehadalsolosttheworldwehadbefore.
&herescuemission.Theloudfightsielwing，thelohedesperatearatioyandevenlitselfipossibleways.Thenindifferenpladresignation.Calm，dispassionatedissoayfriehatweshouldalwayslettheotherknoouldbearound.ThatswhenIstartedleavingthoseyellowpost-itsohoseyellowpost-itswhichbythetimeIcamebackwouldhaveyouratesthatIneverused.Ifwehadallofthemnow，theywouldbetellingthistalealotbetterthanIamnow.
Bae，Istillueleavistothisday，hopingthatsomeonewillwritetheirwhereaboutsonthemaswell.
亲爱的，在你的记忆宝库里，还能找回这一天吗？
在你从遥远的异乡带回的诸多纪念品中，记载着你跨入神圣的工学院门槛后的青春岁月；在那些大学课本当中，在那些一盒盒旧磁带当中，以及那一张张老照片当中——上面好多同学的名字你已不记得；你还记得么？而那黄色便条是否在这些旧物中呢？是不是暗藏在别处，与那本你买了但一直没看的书放在一起呢，或许与那些毫无用处的礼品和从没写完或没寄出的信放在一块儿？
我的便条仍在，就在这座城市里，在这所你从没来过的房子里。
我曾在厨房里，回想与你谈话的情景。
即使我不在家，它们也一直在那儿。
如今，即便我上街了，也会开着房间的灯，放着音乐，这样当我回来时，就会有种错觉——家里有人在等我。
现在，我改变了很多——不再有需要瞒着父母的秘密，不再有人过问我和朋友，不再有人关心我如何打发无聊时光，不再有人愿意倾听我对工作的看法，也不再有人理解我对生活的感受，我知道现实生活就是这样。
我不断地努力，试着让日子过得简单有序而又充满希望，试着寻找真正属于自己的生活。
当然，我并不总这么想。
偶尔，我会特别渴望回到那些大喜大悲的日子。
记得从前，我的情感可在瞬间从狂喜转至绝望。
别人的几句奉承话会让我兴奋几个小时，而一句恶语能让我有如针扎般刺痛，但如今，原本敏感的我早已干涩麻木。
也许跟世上数百万普通人一样，我会从拥挤的公交车上向外张望，茫茫然，不知所措。
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