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母亲教会了我做马铃薯色拉、番茄沙司烙通心粉和米饭油炸土豆片。
她教会我,如何在减价时采购物品,如何不化妆、不染发就成为一个漂亮的女人。
母亲教给我平静的祈祷方式,教会我倾听自己内心的声音。
她教导我,尽管她在一个组织严密的传统宗教的环境中把我养大,如果我不想在同样的环境中养育自己的儿女,也没有关系;她教导我,如果两个人意见不合发生了争论,并不意味着彼此不关心对方。
然而,即使别人说出了伤害你感情的言语,你却仍然不在意、不谈论,那么你就陷入麻烦之中了。
母亲还教导我,你允许他人怎样对你,他人就会怎样对待你。
这些教导影响了我的一生。
随着时间流逝,虽然一些做法已经过时甚至有些愚昧,但是大多数做法仍是不受时间和地域的限制的。
我现在才意识到,她教导我的一切都源于她的内心,并且能够给予我指导和保护。
我今天看到的母亲已经不仅仅是自己的母亲,同时也是一个独立的女人,一个需要学习经验的女人,值得庆幸的是,也是一个能够与我分享经验的女人。
因此,在今天的生活中,我总是能够按时支付账单,我把家人看得比家务活重要,我把自我满足看得比社会地位重要。
今天,我仍然会在问候卡上花一小笔钱。
此外,我用增白牙齿的口香糖代替了保持口气清新的薄荷糖。
然而,家里仍然没有为客人准备专用的毛巾。
WhenIwasachild,mymhtmetosmileae.Shetaughtmenottotalkthtoohard,andtoalwayshaveabreathmintiaughtmetobrushmyhairbeforeIweoplay,torettynightgowntothesleepover,andtowearaflowereddresstothescefair,becausethat’swhat“htriate.Shealsotaughtmetolistealk,whichIhavealwayshadtroubledoing.
FrommymotherIlearned,asaatdtowelsihroomwhenpanyvisitsandtoasavingsbondifthat’swhatittakestofeedyuests.Ilearopreventfamilyfeuds,youwalkedoneggshellsalldayonChristmasandThanksgiving,andhadthein-lawsoverforbreakfast,theothersideofthefamilyoverforlundallers’friendsoverfordessert.
AsIgrewup,mymrewwiser.BythetimeIwasanadult,I’dlearwhenIwasachild,mymotherhadn’tsaidnotootherpeopleasoftenassheshouldhave.
WhileI’llalwaysbeheartbrokenthatshebecameawidowattheyouy-six,I’llalwaysbegratefulthatIymotherasawomanafterward.Iwatchedhershedthestereotypesofawomahe1950s,andIhefaesshe,too,hasicecreamfordinner.
FrommymotherIlearned,asanadult,togiveyourselfwhatyouwant,beayeverdoit.Ilearolaughandlaughandlaugh,becauselifeistoodiffiyoudohatifyoudislikeyourin179lawsorotherfamilymembersoranyoneelse,youdoofakeit,becauselifeistooshorttoputonappearaoworryaboutwhathtthink.
&hatit’sokaynottomakethebed,nottoirooleaveapileofdishesinthesink,aslongasyoutaketimetositoakePlay-Dohshyourchild.Ilear’sperfectlyacceptabletuestsabagofdicedtea,ifthat’sallyouhaveinthehouse.
Mymhtme,asanadult,thatwhenabillesioripoffthereturnstub,tuailingeastamphtaway.Shetaughtmeoleavealoadofwetlaundryinthewashingmaehtiher,beyoudrytheclothesthehey’llsmelllikeamildewedshower.Shetaughtmehootatosalad,manidRiceKrispiestreats.Shetaughtmehowtoshopoyoudoyourfaceordyeyourhairtobeabeautifulwomanatanyage.
MymhtmetheSereaughtmetolistentomyiaughtmethat,althoughsheraisedmeinananizedreligion,ifIdon’twanttoraisemythesameway,that’sjustfimethatwhenpeopledisagreeadoesheydoeachother;it’swhenyoustandtalkihoseemotionsandwordshurt,thatyou’reiheralsotaughtmethatpeopledotoyouonlywhatyouallowthemto.
&helessonsthathaveshapedmylife.Althoughafewmightseempasseorevensillywiththepassageoftime,mostaretimelessanduniversal.Ihatallofherlessonsherheartaoguideame.
TodayIseemymothernotjustasmyparent,butalsoasawomaninherht,withherowolearn—and,fortuosharewithme,herdaughter.So,today,mybillsarealaidontime.Myfamilyesbeforehousekeepiisfabeforesocialstatus.IstillspendasmallfreetingdI’vereplacedthebreathmintswithtooth-whiteningguButIdon’teveowels.
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