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双重悲伤 Double Sadness(第1页)

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双重悲伤DoubleSadness

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玛莎·鲁塞尔·徐MarthaRussellHsu

“IkeepwaboutMartha,”

mymothersaidaswesatialcformyfathertobeexamior.“Weleftherplayingintheyardanddidn’ttellhereregoing.Ihopeshe’snotsittings.”

IwipedawaytearsthatwerestreamingdowI’mMartha.I’mrightherewithyou.”

Itriedtoreassureher.

“No,notyou.”

mymotheratleMartha.”

Fearsofabaa,envelopedusaswetriedtoadjusttomyfather’ssuddenincapacity.

Thecallhadethenightbefore.Myfatherhadfallenandbrokenhiship;aoreplacethehipjointwasscheduledfortheAfriendwasstayingwithmymht.“I’lleassoonasItheearlymplane.”

Ipromised.

Mymotherandfather,marriedforfifty-eightyears,hadneverhadaseriehoughmymotherhadbeeinglyfusediseveralmonths.“Andisyourmotherstillalive?”

shehadaskedmeonmylastvisit,withasoterestintheyoungwomanshehadneverseenbefore.Now,withthedailyroutiedandthenearlytpanionshipofmyfatherremoved,herdisorientationwasmoresevere.

“ButI’mworriedaboutMartha.”

mymaiurdownforlunch.“Imgoingouttolookforher.”

“ButI’mMartha.”

Itriedagaihagrewupaome.”

“That’sridiothersaid.Shetuggedopedoor,wentouttothestreet,andstoodtensely.Lookingupanddowlegirlshewassureshehadseenjustthat.Thentothebackofthehouseandthroughthebacklottotheotherstreet.“I’mgoingtoaskthosepeopleoverthereifthey’veseeher,beinginglyfrantic,luraffidcrossthebusystreet.

&’sgohomeandcallthechurchoffice.”

Ipleaded.“Maybesomeoherehelp.”

Onthewaybacktothehouse,mymothersaid,“It’sogoawaylikethatwithouttellingme.Ifoanote.”

Anote!Seeingawaytorelievemymitation,Iscribbledanoteassoohehouse,awhereitcouldbedisier.“Mama,”

itsaid,“IhavegoaywithMaryAnnforafeleasedon’tworry.I’mokay.Martha.”

“Look,”

Isaid,“here’sadoesitsay?”

Mymotherreaditaloudslowlyaelybeganto.

“Thankgoodness,”

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