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德布·普劳斯·富尔顿DebPlouseFulton
Iestlysayitwasthebestoftimesaoftimes.
Iwasjoyfullyexpegmyfirstchild,atthesametimethatmyonce-
&ic,zestfulmotherwaslosilewithabraintumor.
Fortenyears,myfierdepeaherhadfought,buthesurgeriesortreatmentshadbeeill,sheherabilitytosmile.Butnow,finally,atonlyfifty-five,shebecametotallydisabled-uospeak,walk,eatordressonherown.
Asshegrewdybabygrewdclosertolifeinsideme.Mybiggestfearwasthattheirliveswould.Igrievednotonlyfortheupymother,butalsothatsheandmybabywouldneverkher.
Myfearseemedwell-founded.Afewweeksbeforemyduedate,motherlapsedintoadeepa.Herdoctorsdidnotholdaoldushertime.Itwasuselesstoputiube,theysaid.Shewouldnevera>
&motherhometoherownbedinherownhouse,aedookeepherfortable.AsoftenasIcould,Isatbesideheraoheraboutthebabymovinginsideme.Ihopedthatsomehowdeepinside,sheknew.
OnFebruary3,1989,ataboutthesametimemylaborstarted,motheropenedhereyes.Wheoldmethisatthehospital,Icalledherhomeahephoomom’sear.
“Mom-Mom-listen.Thebabyisiohaveanewgrandchild.Doyouuand?”
“Yes!”
Whatawonderfulword!Thefirstclearwordshe’dspokeninmonths!
WhenIcalledagainanhourlater,theherhousetoldmetheimpossible:Momwassittingup,heroxygentubesremoved.Shewassmiling!
“Mom,it’saboy!Youhaveanewgrandson!”
“Yes!Yes!Iknow!”
Fourwords.Fourbeautifulwords.
BythetimeIbroughtJawassittinginherchair,dressedaowel.TearsofjoyblockedmyvisionasIlaidmysoninherarmsandshecluckedathiTheystaredateachother.
Theyknew.
Fortwomoreweeks,motherclucked,smiledandheldJacob.Fortwoweeksshespoketomyfather,herandgrandiewomiracleweeks,shegaveusjoy.
Thelyslippedbaaahevisitsfromallher,wasfihepainsandesofabodythatnolongerdidherwill.
Memoriesofmyson’sbirthwillalwaysbebittersweetforme,butitwasatthistimethatIlearnedanimportanttruthaboutliving.Forwhilebothjoyandsorrowarefleeting,awihepowertoovereboth.Aforever.
老实说,我最幸福也是最悲惨的时刻到了——在我欣喜地期待着我第一个孩子降生的同时,往日精力充沛、热情开朗的母亲却在与脑肿瘤病魔的斗争中逐渐失利。
10年来,母亲以惊人的毅力独自与病魔抗争,虽然手术和药物治疗都没能获得成功,但她从未因此失去笑容。
如今,年仅55岁的她最终全身瘫痪——不能说话,不能走路,连吃饭、穿衣都不能自理。
正当死神日益逼近她时,我体内的孩子快要出世了,最令我担心的是他们没有相见的机缘。
我悲恸,不仅因为将要失去母亲,还因为她和我的孩子将永远无法相识。
我并非杞人忧天。
就在距预产期只剩几周的时候,母亲陷入了深度昏迷状态。
医生们也无能为力,他们说母亲的时间耗尽了。
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