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第46章镜中的女人（1）
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TheWomanintheMirror
佚名Anonymous
WhenIwas11，IfoundoutIhadabraintumor.Ihadsurgerytoremoveit，butthesizeandloorcausedmyoptiervetoatrophy.Forthreeyearsafterartialsight，butmyophthalmologisttoldmethateventuallyIwouldgoblind.Attheendofmy14thyear，doelegallyblindandsaidtherewasnothingthatcouldbedone.Ihada5percethetumor，andIdid，butsomehowIeverdealwiththefactthatIwasgoingbliobehaveasifeverythifihappened，Iwasdevastated.
MydadleftuswhenIwas5，andItookthatreallyhard.Becauseofthat，andbecauseIwasblindontopofit，mygreatestfearwasthatnoooloveme，thatIwetmarriedandhavekidsandafulllife.Iwasafraidofbeingalone，aiswhatIthoughtbli.
Teer，onNov.16oflastyear，Iwasgdinneraokissmyguidedog，Ami.Ilostmybalamyheadontheycoffeetableahefloor.Itwasn’tunusual.Whenyouareblind，youhityourselfallthetime.Igotup，finishedmakingdinobed.
WhenIwokeup，Icouldsee.Lightwasingthroughmywindow，aainsweredrawn.Ofcourse，Iwasshocked，butlikewhenIlostmysight.Therewasabigmirrorinmybedroom，butIdidn’tlookatmyselfrightaway.Iwaouto.Idonotlookgoodinthem，andIdidn’twaened.AsIwasshhtmyrefledjustthatleftmespeechless，really.
&imeIsawmyself，Ihadshorthair，apaleplexiohatdidn’tshowbecauseIhadsuchlighteyebrowsandeyelashes.Ilookedawful，likeateenagegirl，Isuppose.Now，allofasuddehatitwastrueletoldme，thatIwasanattraaoodinfrontofthemirror，Ireayface.ThatwaswhatIhadbeendoingfor10years—itwashowIuood—soitulse.ItwasnotuntilIsawmyselfthatIrealizedhowmuchmymemoryhadfadedofthingsIoncecouldsee.ItwasaboutfourhoursbeforeItoldaayedwithAmi.Welookedateachotherasideintheyard.Ijustwaobealoakeitin.Itwassomuch.
&rahingwasthatIkwasgoingtohappen.Aboutaweekbefore，IwaswalkingAmiandsuddenlysawbluedotsinfrontofmylefteye，theoneIwainmysightin.ItoldmymumbecauseIfounditfunny；bluehadbeenmyfavoritedwastheeasiestetoseeartialsight.Itookitasasign.
Peopledomedifferentlynoayspletelyi.IlivedinAuewZealand，inmyownflatwithmydog.Iartiesandgog.Iwouldlisteofthemusidgoeforthebest.Whenyrabyouandpointyouiioheyareactuallyoverthere，thatiswhenyourememberyou’reblind.
Ialsolovedmovies.Goingtothemoviesblindwaslikesomeoellingyreatsous，andyoumakeupalltheimagesinyourhead.Ihaven’tbeenbaceIregainedmysight.ButI’vebeeoseemyfavoritesoap，“Shortla”
.AookoutmagazinesaPamelaLeeAndersonandBradPitt.Thebiggestsurpriseitt.Ijustthought，whatwaseveryonegoingonabout？Thebestwasseeingmyboyfrieheferryover，ahemomentIsawhiHewasassexyasIhadimagined.
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